Friendships / Relationships

(Prepared by Pastor H. for Youth Service at BIC Lobengula 020110)

CHECK YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

A.Protocol

•I want to acknowledge my wife here present.
•I appreciate the opportunity afforded me to speak at this important service
•I want to appreciate you all that came here and others that come from far places

B.Introduction

•As we start the year, among other things, check your relationships or friendships
•Your friends may determine how far you go
•Some friendships need be reviewed in the context of cutting them or reducing them
•Some friendships need to be strengthened or developed
•If you want to know how a person is, check the quality of friends they have
•I strongly believe in my heart that as a church, it is time to move on higher in the things of God
•I am not of those that put significance in years and numbers, but, I believe this is the year and time to move higher, it is the time to experience God!
•But, some will remain, if you are not going, sorry, we are going!
•In the past year(s), I have been patient in many ways, I have controlled myself, I have accommodated many things, but its time to move!

C.Example Of David

1 Sam 29:1 NOW THE Philistines gathered all their forces at Aphek, and the Israelites encamped by the fountain in Jezreel.
1 Sam 29:2 As the Philistine lords were passing on by hundreds and by thousands, and David and his men were in the rear with Achish,
1 Sam 29:3 The Philistine princes said, What are these Hebrews doing here? Achish said to the Philistine princes, Is not this David, the servant of Saul king of Israel, who has been with me these days and years, and I have found no fault in him since he deserted to me to this day?
1 Sam 29:4 And the Philistine princes were angry with Achish and they said to him, Make this fellow return, that he may go again to his place where you have assigned him, and let him not go down with us to battle, lest in the battle he become an adversary to us. For how could David reconcile himself to his master? Would it not be with the heads of the men here?
1 Sam 29:5 Is not this David, of whom they sang to one another in dances, Saul slew his thousands, and David his ten thousands?
1 Sam 29:6 Then Achish called David and said to him, As surely as the Lord lives, you have been honest {and} upright, and for you to go out and come in with me in the army is good in my sight; for I have found no evil in you from the day of your coming to me to this day. Yet the lords do not approve of you.
1 Sam 29:7 So return now and go peaceably, so as not to displease the Philistine lords.
1 Sam 29:8 David said to Achish, But what have I done? And what have you found in your servant as long as I have been with you to this day, that I may not go and fight against the enemies of my lord the king?
1 Sam 29:9 And Achish said to David, I know that you are as blameless in my sight as an angel of God; nevertheless the princes of the Philistines have said, He shall not go up with us to the battle.
1 Sam 29:10 So now rise up early in the morning, with your master's servants who have come with you, and as soon as you are up and have light, depart.
1 Sam 29:11 So David and his men rose up early in the morning to return to the land of the Philistines. But the Philistines went up to Jezreel [to fight against Israel].
1 Sam 30:1 NOW WHEN David and his men came home to Ziklag on the third day, they found that the Amalekites had made a raid on the South (the Negeb) and on Ziklag, and had struck Ziklag and burned it with fire,
1 Sam 30:2 And had taken the women and all who were there, both great and small, captive. They killed no one, but carried them off and went on their way.
1 Sam 30:3 So David and his men came to the town, and behold, it was burned, and their wives and sons and daughters were taken captive.
1 Sam 30:4 Then David and the men with him lifted up their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep.
1 Sam 30:5 David's two wives also had been taken captive, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess and Abigail, the widow of Nabal the Carmelite.
1 Sam 30:6 David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him because the souls of them all were bitterly grieved, each man for his sons and daughters. But David encouraged {and} strengthened himself in the Lord his God.
1 Sam 30:7 David said to Abiathar the priest, Ahimelech's son, I pray you, bring me the ephod. And Abiathar brought him the ephod.
1 Sam 30:8 And David inquired of the Lord, saying, Shall I pursue this troop? Shall I overtake them? The Lord answered him, Pursue, for you shall surely overtake them and without fail recover all.
1 Sam 30:9 So David went, he and the 600 men with him, and came to the brook Besor; there those remained who were left behind.
1 Sam 30:10 But David pursued, he and 400 men, for 200 stayed behind who were too exhausted {and} faint to cross the brook Besor.
1 Sam 30:11 They found an Egyptian in the field and brought him to David, and gave him bread and he ate, and water to drink,
1 Sam 30:12 And a piece of a cake of figs and two clusters of raisins; and when he had eaten, his spirit returned to him, for he had eaten no food or drunk any water for three days and three nights.
1 Sam 30:13 And David said to him, To whom do you belong? And from where have you come? He said, I am a young man of Egypt, servant to an Amalekite; and my master left me because three days ago I fell sick.
1 Sam 30:14 We had made a raid on the South (Negeb) of the Cherethites and upon that which belongs to Judah and upon the South (Negeb) of Caleb. And we burned Ziklag with fire.
1 Sam 30:15 And David said to him, Can you take me down to this band? And he said, Swear to me by God that you will neither kill me nor deliver me into the hands of my master, and I will bring you down to this band.
1 Sam 30:16 And when he had brought David down, behold, the raiders were spread abroad over all the land, eating and drinking and dancing because of all the great spoil they had taken from the land of the Philistines and from the land of Judah.
1 Sam 30:17 And David smote them from twilight even to the evening of the next day, and not a man of them escaped, except 400 youths who rode camels and fled.
1 Sam 30:18 David recovered all that the Amalekites had taken and rescued his two wives.
1 Sam 30:19 Nothing was missing, small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything that had been taken; David recovered all.
1 Sam 30:20 Also David captured all the flocks and herds [which the enemy had], and the people drove those animals before him and said, This is David's spoil.
1 Sam 30:21 And David came to the 200 men who were so exhausted {and} faint that they could not follow [him] and had been left at the brook Besor [with the baggage]. They came to meet David and those with him, and when he came near to the men, he saluted them.
1 Sam 30:22 Then all the wicked and base men who went with David said, Because they did not go with us, we will give them nothing of the spoil we have recovered, except that every man may lead away his wife and children and depart.
1 Sam 30:23 David said, You shall not do so, my brethren, with what the Lord has given us. He has preserved us and has delivered into our hands the troop that came against us.
1 Sam 30:24 Who would listen to you in this matter? For as is the share of him who goes into the battle, so shall his share be who stays by the baggage. They shall share alike.
1 Sam 30:25 And from that day to this he made it a statute and ordinance for Israel.
1 Sam 30:26 When David came to Ziklag, he sent part of the spoil to the elders of Judah, his friends, saying, Here is a gift for you of the spoil of the enemies of the Lord:
1 Sam 30:27 For those in Bethel, Ramoth of the Negeb, Jattir,
1 Sam 30:28 Aroer, Siphmoth, Eshtemoa,
1 Sam 30:29 Racal, the cities of the Jerahmeelites, the cities of the Kenites,
1 Sam 30:30 Hormah, Bor-ashan, Athach,
1 Sam 30:31 Hebron, and for those in all the places David and his men had habitually haunted.

•Here we see that the success David’s destiny lied squarely on him.
•Yes, he had friendships/ relationships and he used them at different times.

Types of friendships / Relationships (David case study)

1.The Philistine Lords
•That friendship / relationship could not continue, they chased David away
•David had to go back, the companionship was not strong, they did not trust him, you can not walk together if you do not trust each other
•Friendship is about trust
•Sometimes if you cannot trust each other, it’s a fake relationship, consider cutting it!
•When David was sent back, it was a blessing in disguise; he found his family taken captive.
•Had he continued in that relationship, he was not going to be able to trace back his family, he had wasted time in a wrong relationship which almost cost him his family.
•What is holding you? Are you not in wrong relationships at the expense of your family & true friends?
•Turn back from some relationships this year!

2.The whole army (600)
•The whole army wanted to stone David
•These were the people that were supposed to encourage him but were rising against him!
•At times, everybody may seem against you.
•You need to know that when nobody seems to have faith in you, encourage yourself in the Lord!
•Sometimes your friends may not see the vision that you see, move on, others will follow later
•Seek God’s grace and direction, David fell back on the other anointing that the rest of the army did not have, the priestly anointing.
•There are times when you may not get strength and encouragement from friends, fall back to your skill and anointing!

3.The weak soldiers (200)
•Some friends, you need to leave them for some time, they are weak
•They cannot continue with you, they are weak to grasp the vision, if you wait for them, you will not achieve anything, they will delay you.
•Leave them and may be you will catch up with them later!
•If you do not move on and leave them, you will not progress and there will be no progress
•Know the strengths and weaknesses of your friends, know where and when to use them and when to leave them.

4.The strong soldiers(400)
•Identify those who are strong and willing to move on, go with them
•Encourage those that are strong, move on with them!

5.The evil strong soldiers
•Not everybody who is strong is good
•Be careful even in your inner circle, there are some with wrong motives / attitudes
•Use their strengths and gifts but no when to rebuke and correct them
•Not everybody who is always with you is necessarily a good friend!
•Some are selfish, they may not necessarily celebrate your victory or success, they are dangerous!

6.The boy
•The above are basically about friendships we always had that need evaluation
•But, there are new relationships that you need to identify and create this year and always
•It is not easy to identify and start new friendships but it is necessary
•Some of the new friends need you to help and support but they are very key to your success.
•David fed this little boy who was left by his friends to die, but to David, he identified potential and resourcefulness
•Identify new friendships, identify people that have your destiny but are currently seeming useless and un resourceful!
•There are people that have squandered their chance of developing me into their friend, they did not see much in me, there are some people that I tried to relate to but ignored me!
•But some are now looking for me, some are still avoiding me now but they will look for me in future, it may be too late!
•Do not judge people or friends by their current state, judge by your inner being, have a vision and see!

7.The elders
•There are people that you will not always go with
•There are people that you will associate with at far intervals but who act as you counselors and advisers whom you do not need to forget
•Go and submit to them, get their wise counsel, give them gifts.
•You may not see their resourcefulness on a daily basis but you will need them to be anointed king!

D.Conclusion

•So, we have a difficult task of evaluating our relationships
•Some friends we need to drop
•Some friends we need to scale down, reduce or minimize our relationships
•Some friends we need to develop and increase our relationship with
•Some friends need to be divided into particular sectors depending on their resourcefulness, skill or giftings.
•Know when to need them and when not to, know their strengths!
•Even Jesus had different classes of friends, He had Mary, Martha Lazarus, He had the other Marys that were providing for Him, He had the disciples, even among the disciples He had the inner circle Peter, James & John!
•Some friendships are temporal, some are permanent
•Some friends need to be searched for and new friendships developed!
•I pray God that you be able to link up with Him, move higher and receive His best this year 2010 and always!